'My Fair Lady' Has Got Nothing On This

"The rain in Spain", indeed.

I made my students read this crazy poem today in class, called: The Chaos (by G. Nolst Trenite).    It took about ten minutes for them to do the whole thing, and quite honestly, they did much better than I thought they would.  After we finished the poem, I went through each verse with them and pointed out words they mispronounced and helped them all get it right.  I'm going to do this reading again in a few months and see if there has been any progress.

If you don't see a video below, here is the direct link:  My Class And This Crazy Poem

Good stuff,

- Andrew

What's In A Name?

Some of my kids have chosen some pretty crazy English names.  I don't think they fully understand the amount of power choosing a name gives them.  If they go to an English speaking country, and they introduce themselves to a person, that person will struggle to pronounce their Chinese name (to be polite) and then, the student could offer them their English name - and that first impression is pretty important. That is how that English person will know the student for the rest of their time together.  Too normal of a name, and its forgettable.  Too absurd, and...well, its absurd.  They have to hit it just right, getting the meaning they want behind the name as well as capturing an aspect of their personality.

I spoke to another American teacher, and they said that we have every right to help them choose a better name.  Or make them do it.  If I believe that their English name will hinder them later in life, its best to try to convince them to change it now so they can get use to something different.

So, here is a list of some of the names that my students have chosen for themselves that I'm probably going to talk to about changing them:

- Snowy (I have a lot of 'Snowys' or 'Snows' and things like that)
- Star (Ehhh)
- Wind (God, this is an awesome name.   The kid looks like a young Jet-Li too.  But I'm not 100% sure if its appropriate.  I may let him keep it because its just awesome)
- Echo (Pretty much the same thing as 'Wind's'.  Just an awesome name...but not sure if its a good English name.  On the wall with this one)
- Adolf (....yeah.  I don't think the world is ready for 'Adolf' again just yet.  Even if it is a common German name technically)
- Hurray (This is a guy's name)
- Lichard (Yeah, I don't know what to do with this)
- McGrady (I'm just going to tell this kid that his name is the last name of every stereotypical cop from Boston)
- Pink (I have to tell these kids that there is a difference between an English name and a nickname)
- Cream (she's so nice and helpful, and I'd hate to do it.  I may allow her to keep it, because it fits her, but is it really a good English name?)
- Seanday (Yeah, I have a lot of trouble pronouncing this)
- Shrimp (Adorable, but this is a nickname)
- Seven (You can't have a number as a name)
- Vae (For a guy.  Is this a good name? I don't know.)
- Goblin (This is a girl)
- Lasting (on the fence with this one.)
- Merlin (Pretty sure he is friends with Goblin.)
- Nemo (Again, on the fence)
- Rock (This kid is not Samoan.)
- David (This would be a perfectly fine name if it belonged to a gentleman and not a lady)
- Wonderful (Cute, but not a wonderful English name)
- Boopa (...what?)
- Smith (Not a good English first name)
- Kaka (I think this kid is playing some kind of joke on me with this name.)

Name this,

- Andrew

Freshmen Military Training

I don't know, but watching the freshmen at my university go through their month of mandatory military training is just...fascinating.

Marching on!

Flag duty?

Combat training!

Knife fighting practice!

Riot Police Training

Chinese girls looking kind of bad-ass.

And then, as soon as they spot me taking pictures, everyone starts getting giggly and excited over theweiguoren.

I am a distraction.

Moving along,

- Andrew

To Resume, Or Not To Resume

One of the classes that I've been given to teach is 'Business English.'  I have three classes of this, with both meeting twice a week.  Two of them are English majors, so communication is super easy and the class sizes are small, so it makes it much easier for me to individually assist students when I have them working.  The other class is a non-English majors class - mostly consisting of, well, business-related majors.  A majority of them have workable English, but as I walk from the front to the back of the class, there is a noticeable gradient in their ability.  Also, the non-English major class has 75-ish people in it.

My latest lesson plan has been explaining how they might go about getting a job in America - so, I started from what I consider the starting point.  A Western-style Resume.  I had a class on how to write a resume almost every semester I was in college - the professor would always have a resume-day on the syallabus and it was always the same old thing.  I figured, I had resumes down and teaching it would be a snap.  And honestly, yapping about them is not that difficult.  Showing examples is not that difficult.

What I did not count on (and what I probably should have counted on) was going to each student individually during our resume workshop - this was a two-day workshop in my non-majors class.

I don't think there is anything similar to a resume at all in Chinese culture.  I don't know how many times I had to explain that you had to be specific in a resume.  Putting "I was a cashier in a little shop," is not acceptable on a resume.  I need to know the name of the little shop.  I need to know how long you worked there.  I need to know skills you used when you worked.  It doesn't just stop there, tons of my students have earned academic scholarships - but none of them know the specific name of the scholarship.  Tons of my students have won important competitions, but none of them know the name of the competition (other than: "It was an important English Speech competition."). 

And, I know they're only trying to be polite or modest, but very few of them can think of a single "special skill" to put on their resume.  It takes a lot of prodding for me to get them to tell me anything that they're good at.  I managed to convince them that the fact that they can speak with me in English is, in fact, a special skill.  Of course, to that I get a lot of: "Ohhh no, my English is very poor."

Overly-modest Chinese students are adorable.

But, except for repeating myself over and over and over and over to a point that I lost my voice, it is amazing to see people maybe two years younger than me doing work that I gave them.  And its actually a ton of fun going from student to student during the workshop and helping them figure this resume-thing out.  The experience level between American students and Chinese students is pretty fascinating. 

By the time I was in college, I had at least one job that I had worked at for over six months.  90% of the students in my classes have worked maybe a month at a job.  Some just have a single-day of working experience - but they work at really interesting jobs.  Some sold special brand of cigarettes, some worked for Toyota and sold cars and a lot worked as teacher's assistants...but they only worked at these place for a week or two, and I guess moved on?  I'm not sure, but very few had worked anywhere long-term.  So, when these kids finally enter a workforce, they have almost no real work experience.  A fairly interesting difference, in my opinion. 

I'm pretty sure it goes back to the idea that in America, getting a job is more based on merit first and who you know second (mostly), whereas in China, its pretty opposite (as I understand it, anyway).  They got the 'guanxi' thing going on.  Got to get me some of that.

So now, I have 130 or so Business English students with scraps of paper listing everything important they've ever done.  Their neat-English handwriting listing everything and my scrawls telling them what they should and shouldn't do....mostly what they shouldn't do.  Or how to do it better. 

Being a teacher is fun.  Ish,

- Andrew

This Is How We Learn

Now I can cook like a real Chinese person.  They literally have a wall of cleavers at Wal-Mart - and I'll probably pick up one or two more.  The one in the picture above is small and was pretty cheap (Wal-Mart brand actually.  You won't see that in the States) and it came with a cutting board and a four sets of chop sticks.  I also bought a good-sized wok, so I'm pretty set as far as food preparation goes now. 

I got my electric stove thing working.  In order for it to heat up anything, you have to (I think) complete the electric circuit on the surface of the skillet.  So, that is fairly terrifying.  I expect sparks to fly whenever I touch anything I'm cooking.

I managed my first "meal" in China.  I say meal with quotation marks because it was just meat - I guess what passes for steak here.  I had bought vegetables and other things to go with it, but they were taken away at the check-out counter.  My pleas of: "Shenme?", "Wo yao naxie" and "Wo bu dong" were answered with Chinese that was way too fast for me to understand.  So being the kind of individual that I am, I just smiled and nodded like I understood her rapid-fire, foreign explanation.  Then, I left with just some meat, juice, kitchen stuffs and Skittles (oh yes, they have Skittles here).

I figured out the mix-up later on: It would seem that when you buy vegetables in China, you must then go to some kind of attendent and have them weigh the vegetables and put a price tag on them.  Its much simplier in the United States. 

So, my first experience cooking in China (beef and Skittles - not at the same time, of course) was also my first experience having to go out to eat soon after cooking for myself so I could get "real" food. 

But this is how we learn,

- Andrew

Have A List

I don't have a lot to report now, so here is a short list of things I like in China that I don't think I've mentioned:

1) Being a pseudo regular at resturants on the strip outside my apartment.  Its not the best food in the world, but the people are super nice.

2) Walking down the street and having my students run to me excitedly, saying: "Teacher!" and bowing and talking to me for a few minutes.  I've told them to call me Andrew, but I mostly get 'Teacher'...which is kind of growing on me.

3) Going into a new resturant and getting the best seat, normally near a window, because I'm white/foreigner/American.  Something.  Yeah, I know I'm there so I'm display so they can show off that they got an American in their resturant.  I'm not 100% sure if I'm good for business, but I like the nice seats.

4) My god, Chinese children are adorable.

5) Talking to strangers, learning Chinese while I teach English.

6) Juice is crazy delicious here.

7) Everything is so cheap!

8) Hearing inappropriate American music in certain stores and knowing full well, that the owners don't know what the song is actually about.

Oh! Unexpected situation last night.  A Jamacian guy found Carter and I while we were eating, than proceded to try to convert Carter to Christianity.  That was nowhere on my list of things that could happen while I was in China.

Other than that weirdness, things are pretty good,
- Andrew

Lest I Forget

This was suppose to go with my first post.  It happened on my first full day in Changchun.

Carter and I were walking around, exploring or trying to find someplace to eat.  We had already gotten use to being stared at by everyone, but still weren't use to....y'know, everything else yet.  We were (and still are, I guess) practically infants.  We couldn't read, we couldn't understand most of what was said to us, we didn't know where we were and hell, we didn't know what we were doing.  Just over 24-hours prior to that point, we had been sitting in California, eating at an In-And-Out Burger.  Since then, we had literally moved to the other side of the world and cleared our comfort zones by at least 5000 miles.

As we walked down the side-walk, taking it all in, a little Chinese girl - probably 4 or 5 - points up to us with big eyes.

"WEIGUOREN," she proclaims.  We looked down at her, startled and unsure what how to respond.  Her mother quickly ushered her away.

Weiguoren means 'foreigner.'

And yes, little girl. 


Yes.

Good Times In China,
- Andrew

Hakuna Matata

Literally, two days ago, if someone had asked me what the strangest thing I've ever eaten, I probably would have gone with "pigeon."  Yeah, its a common bird and a delicacy in a lot of countries, but in America, you don't eat pigeon (even though those are probably safer to eat than the ones here).  But, as of tonight, we have a new winner:

Bombyx mori.  Silkworm.  Two of them to be exact.  Fried and served alone. Tasted (I know its cliche to say) like chicken.  Very chewy chicken.  Definitely not a bad culinary experience. 

How did this come to be?  Well, Carter (another American teacher) and I decided to become regulars at this resturant right next to the foreign teacher's apartment.  Nothing really special about it - just a 'food-on-a-stick' resturant.  We go there every night or two, either for a quick bite or for a beer.  We befriended one of the waitstaff.  We called him 'Cool Dude' and refered to the resturant as: "Cool Dude's."  His real name is Yu Qiang Wang, but when we speak casually about it, he is definitely 'Cool Dude.'  He hooks us up occasionally by taking a few yuan off the bill (or giving us something), we help him with his English, he helps us with our Chinese.  Tonight, as we were preparing to go, Cool Dude comes out of the kitchen with a tiny bowl and puts it down in front of us. 

Our initial reaction, looking at the fried little lumps in the bowl was something to the effect of: 

"Uhh...what is this?"

Cool Dude pauses for a moment, struggling for the word.  "Its....baby butterfly."

Oh. 

We took a sip of beer, nodded to one another and then I willingly ate my first bug.

I am just racking up the new experiences.  And I've just been here a week.  Where am I going to be a month from now?

Hakuna Matata,

- Andrew

The Chinese Pizza Hut Experience

I worked at a Pizza Hut in the United States for just about a year.  It wasn't the greatest of jobs, but it could've been a ton worse.  Bad job but good people kind of thing.  In America though, I would put Pizza Hut just a notch (maybe two in some places) over the typical fast food place.  Our food is typically better than that McDonalds, and you wait just a bit longer for it too.

In China, as it turns out, Pizza Hut is a legit dining experience.  Four or five stars.  People open the door for you when you come in, all the servers are dressed really nicely.  Everyone has a big 'Customer Maniac' button on their uniform and they all seem legitimately excited to see you.  And you can get specialty fruit drinks.  And wine.  And its really, really clean.

(I will note here, that the pictures are bad and/or blurry because it seems like the kind of nice resturant that would get mad at me for getting up and taking pictures of everything.  I was trying to be discrete.)

We got a Hawaiian Pizza.  Fairly typical.  But you know what we could have gotten?  Steak.  Or Popcorn Chicken or Shrimp pizza.  Or Tiramisu.  Or delicious-looking coffee things. 

Look at how many tabs this menu has:

Wow, I wish there was an easy way for me to resize that.  But whatever.  Pizza is just one tab.  And its not even the entree tab (that is where the steak is). China is a crazy place.  I like to think that the Sylva Pizza Hut was a pretty nice place...but it really has nothing on the one in Changchun.

Though, if it means anything, the pizza really wasn't that good.  Just...alright. 

I should probably talk more about teaching in this blog, rather than the weird stuff I find over here. 

Or maybe not,

- Andrew

Chinese Observation #1

While not every Chinese person may practice Kung-Fu, they all can rock at some ping-pong. 

Keep it going,

- Andrew

Chinese Efficiency

I met this Korean girl the other night, a student from Jilin University (right down the road, basically).  We talked about how long I've been here, if I'm liking China and somehow the construction outside of my apartment comes up.  When I arrived in Changchun, the road along the front side of my building had been completely ripped up (probably a quarter to half a mile of road).  It was just dirt and rubble.  As I said in a previous post, every morning at almost 6:15 on the dot, I hear heavy engines revving up and tons of construction-related noise.  Anyway, I had only been in China for a day before I spoke to this girl.  The conversation went something like this:

"Yeah, I'm not looking forward to the mornings here.  I'm going to be woken up so early everyday."

Confused, she asks: "Why is that?"

"All the construction on the road.  Its going to take months before they're finished."

She shakes her head.  "It does not take that long here."

"When do you think they'll be done?"

Suddenly very serious she pauses for just an instant and says: "Six days.  It will be done in six days."

And she is definitely in the ballpark.  They are almost done now.  Faster than any road crew team that I've ever seen in the United States.  Even the ones just doing patch-work.  These guys here are putting in new pipes, and completely paving a road from dirt.  It may not be the best construction in the world.  They may cut corners where they shouldn't.  It may not last more than a year or two.  There may even be bones in the concrete.  But goddamn, if they don't get stuff done fast.

Raw Chinese efficiency,
- Andrew

(Oh, they also don't mark off construction sites here.  You can just walk across them, even if a steamroller is coming right at you.  They probably won't stop though, so you better be quick)

Context

"Oh, man.  This place is pretty good.  I wish we knew what we ordered.  I don't think I've ever had this before..."

Being 90% illiterate sucks. 

- Andrew

(It was pigeon)

Suddenly, China: First Week Summary

Suddenly, China.

Exactly a week ago now I arrived in China. Well, I wasn't in China exactly a week ago, but I was definitely on a plane to China.  That was a horribly boring and dreadful experience that I could probably only tolerate going through once a year or so.  Good thing I don't have to put up with another 16-hour flight until next summer.

We arrived in Changchun around 11:30pm and did not get to our apartments until thirty minutes or so after that.  The initial thoughts I had upon walking into the apartment were: "What is that awful smell?!" and "Wow, this place is massive."  I was fully expecting to have to have a roommate.  I mean, the place is bigger than any other apartment I've had in the United States.  I have a room that is my office here.  I've never had an office before.  Its got a desk, and a bookshelf and wow.  Finally, I'm being recognized as someone that needs an office.

The bedroom is fairly barren.  Just a bed.  And some broken...metal...thing?  Maybe it use to hold clothes?  Probably going to get rid of that.  The bed is awesome.  If you want to know what its like to sleep on my totally awesome Chinese bed, just...look around wherever you are and just lay down on the floor.  Its kind of like that.  So awesome and comfortable, right?

Living room is pretty nice.  Big and open.  Couch is probably more plush than my bed is.  That is a weird twist that I didn't really expect.  As far as I know, the television doesn't work?  Or maybe I'm doing something wrong.  It doesn't turn on.  I should probably yell at someone, but I haven't felt the drive to watch it yet.  Apparently though, there is an awesome cartoon (or some kind of kid's show) about some Chinese children that continually outsmart the Japanese military (during WWII).  I might want to get in on that.  Sounds exciting.

There are also a pile of shoes in the corner of my living room.  Like six or seven pairs.  They are not mine.
Bathroom is...a bathroom.  No bathtub exactly, I just kind of stand in the bathroom and spray water at myself and it goes down a drain.  Pretty fun.  Water smells like it comes from a lake and makes my hair feel weird after I wash it (though, I might be imagining that).

Kitchen is...a kitchen.  Fridge, freezer, sink...no oven or stove.  I have some electric thing that looks like it could be a stove.  I managed to turn it on and all it does is beep at me for a minute and than turn off.  So, I haven't figured that out yet.  I should probably get over feeling stupid about not being able to work it and just ask for help.  Right now the score is:  Electric Stove Thing: 15, Andrew: 0

I also have two enclosed balconies offering a look into the street in front of my apartment and than the back of the apartment (some green?).

I slept like a rock on the first night.  I'm going to guess it was because (A) I didn't sleep on the plane...at all, and (B) I took a shot of what could only be described as 'Anti 5-Hour Energy'.  It was basically melatonin and some natural sleep ingredients(?).  It didn't put me to sleep, but it did make me feel like I was melting.  I have never seen the stuff anyone in the United States except the China-section of LAX.

In case anyone wants to know, the Chinese start construction at 6:15 in the morning.  I know that because they are constructing a road outside of my apartment.  Its better than an alarm clock.

<NOTE: Probably will put some pictures up of my apartment later on>

FAST FORWARD:
I was given my schedule for classes on Sunday afternoon (I'm teaching Communicative English II and Business English).  I was given some textbooks, about 16 hours to prepare (first class was at 8am the next day) and not much else.  I don't have any supervision really, no in-class assistance, no idea of what exactly I was suppose to be teaching these kids (the textbooks are pretty simple/not helpful) but I did have a load of enthusiasm and a ton of false confidence.

Chinese classes are....something else.  I have three classes of 60-70 people, and three classes of 25-ish people.  Or something like that.  I walk into the class, and I feel like an instant celebrity.  They are very excited to see him.  I really wish I had gotten video of me walking into my first classes.  Some of the reactions were kind of ridiculous - wide-eyes, gasps, giggling, excited chatter in Chinese and than a handful of them that walk up to introduce themselves to me personally.  And ask for my phone number...which I'm not comfortable with at the moment.  Email all around!

I was a bit nervous in my first classes, following a lesson plan I had written up in an hour, using the textbook (boooooring) and talking a lot about America and myself.  They seem much interested in the latter than the former.

And then there are the infamous random class changes.  So far, I'm the only English teacher that has had to deal with them, but one of my classes was cancelled on Tuesday (schedule conflict?), and I'm making it up on Monday and from then on, its at its normal time on Tuesday.  The most stressful random class change occurred yesterday.  I came to class prepared for Communicative English II.  That is what my schedule said.  I stand up in the class, do my introduction, have the students do a brief writing assignment so I can gauge their ability (and get to know them) then I start going into my a brief lecture on 'Possibility in Language' (or something dumb like that).

I heard murmurs of confusion behind me.

As it turns out, this class was Business English and they had already learned what I was trying to teach them.  I did not have any of my material for a Business English class.  I did not have the textbook with me.  I was completely and utterly unprepared.  It was a terrible experience.  I managed to ramble on about America and where I'm from for a good while, than forced oral introductions from everyone in class.  Gave them a homework assignment to make up for the assignment that I was unable to bring in, and let them go twenty minutes early.  They seemed pretty understanding, but at the same time....gah, what a nightmare.

I'm going to stop that brief summary for now.  Now that I have an outlet, expect to see pictures here, more posts...some longer, and some shorter.  Y'know, as blogs do.

Zai Jian (that means good-bye in Chinese! Hopefully!),
- Andrew